I've been doing a little "soul searching" lately, and thought I would share this little bit of my "soul"....and then I'll go onto indulge in the Bachelorette....stay tuned for that. Check out my sister's blog HERE for a synopsis of this week's episode, it's hilarious. And she is pretty much in sync with me on my picks....
So, here goes. Not too long ago, in church, we talked about "being offended." It sucks right? Feeling offended. Or having offended someone else. That really sucks just as bad. I've done it before. And although I try really hard NOT to offend, I will probably offend someone else in the future. That's life. Unless you are perfect. I clearly haven't arrived to perfection quite yet. Sigh.
But I really do agree with this: It is a conscious CHOICE to BE offended. YOU decide whether someone offends you or not. Wow, I really do agree with this. Although, it's hard to control how we feel and to what degree we feel it.
I also agree with this: A true friend forgives. Have you ever had someone not forgive you? It really really really hurts. Especially when you have tried to repair the problem. I had this happen to me a few years back. Someone I was very close to. It involved gossip. Incorrect information. A blowup. (yes, even people our age still have those!) Hurt feelings. Sadness. Anger. Offense. All kinds of emotions. And still......awkwardness. I can't tell you how much time I've spent trying to repair the situation, and how much emotional energy I've put into this. But at some point, you have to move on. And let it go. And not worry about if this person is being offended over and over by you. Especially if you are NOT trying to offend. Sometimes you just can't win.
Some things just can't be fixed. (blah! I am a "fixer" so this is super hard for me! I can't stand having someone mad at me, and I can't stand confrontation.....I want to crawl under a table...)
Here is what I learned from this: Forgive. Give someone the benefit of the doubt. Choose not to be offended. For emotional health. For spiritual health. For sanity.
There's my two cents. It's what's been on my mind today. It isn't much, but I have felt better knowing that I really can't fix everything, and I can only do my best to do better and be better.
Have a happy day!
4 comments:
I had a situation with a friend, some gossip, and her husband, I found out over ten years after the fact that he was still offended by a really dumb thing that my 19 year old self and a few other friends did and said, so even that many years after the fact I wrote him an apology letter. We never talked about it in person, but my friend said it helped a lot. Just because we grow up doesn't mean we don't still gossip I guess. And you're so right about the deciding to be un offended, but that is easier said than done most of the time.
Anyway, you asked about the tulle flowers, they are the same as these, just with tulle.
http://myblondeambitions.blogspot.com/2010/03/fabric-flower-tutorial.html
Thanks for always checking in on me!
I love this... and I 100% agree!! Although, sometimes I do 'choose' to get offended, and then more I think about it, the more I know I am being silly. Life is way to short to be offended, and yes, we all need to give each other the benefit of the doubt! I am so grateful that life is about learning, because I am a slow learner, but hopefully I am learning! xoxo See you tonight.
I agree, most of the time it is definitely a choice, and I make that choice too often, I'm sure. I always thought that the 'jr high' drama would be a distant memory by now, but sometimes it finds you, no matter how much you hate it. Luckily since I moved I haven't had to deal with that stuff nearly as much!
I want to hear your take on the bachelorette!
I also agree with your synopsis on choice. And I'm also like you when it comes to wanting to fix the problem. I think we all want to be liked and when someone doesn't like us.... it hurts.
I'm glad we have choices because I choose NOT to be offended. Life is too darn short for DRAMA! I choose to give the benefit of the doubt. I choose to turn the other cheek. I also choose to forgive. It's easy to say.... hard to do.
Thanks for your words of wisdom. We all need this lesson in our lives. It's a great reminder to focus on the BIGGER picture. Thanks!
loves....
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